Thursday, November 10, 2011
love/ commitment
There are times during friendships where people are have commitment or love, or maybe even both. An example of this would be some friendships that I've experienced. Some relationships with people I know, the people are just mainly acquaintances, we're mutual friends, but we have no commitment to each other whatsoever. I had a friend in the past, we were best friends but in the relationship, I was putting my all into it, but the other person wasn't. We use to hang out a lot, but that's really it. I tried to give it my all, but she didn't. Eventually I just gave up and just stopped talking to her. She tried talking to me about a year ago and tried to make amends, but to me, our friendship is more whatever. She is more of an acquaintance to me than a friend. We all go through stages like this with people. Your true friends will always stick by you no matter what. Even if they don't hang out with us as much as we use to, as long as they make an effort to talk to us once in a while and try to hang out, then you keep the relationship alive. In my older post, I mentioned my friend who became busy with work, school, her boyfriend, but she still makes an effort to hang out with me and try to catch up with me here and there. Not just her, but a lot of my other friends are also like that. We use to hang out but we have our own lives to live and we eventually grow apart but as long as the commitment is there, then the relationship will stay alive. If there isn't love in a relationship, whether it's love as in they mean a lot to you, or you love them (boyfriend/ girlfriend) there's no need to keep a relationship going. You need both love and commitment in order to have a strong healthy relationship. The example in the beginning I gave, I really liked the girl, but she didn't like me back. I eventually just said forget it because I knew that she didn't feel the same and that I was tired of her not even being fully committed to our friendship. If she was making an effort to be my friend then I wouldn't of just stopped talking to her.
I think self disclosure also plays a role in who we decide to keep around as friends. The more personal information we share with someone the more likely that person will become our close friend. We also tend to keep the people around that we feel the most comfortable talking to. The less comfortable we feel talking intimately to a person the less likely we will keep that person around and call them our friend. In this case, they become as you said our acquiantances.
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